Past the Stargazing Season
by 525300887039
Summary: Touka unexpectedly meets Haise on a coffee bean shop and gets invited by him to a coffee shop. After a brief conversation, he insists on walking her home, and they both get to know each other on the way. TouKen/TouSaki (full of fluff and mushiness XD)


_AUTHOR'S NOTES:_

Hey there! This is my first fanfiction ever to be published here, so I don't know if it fits your tastes or not. This is full of fluff and mushiness so, yeah. XD I like those things, so you can blame me. :P Also, I wrote this in one-sitting so it's kinda written hastily. There are probably grammar mistakes because English isn't my first language, but nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this story! :D I really love Touken so I did this. Hope you like this! ^_^

PS I hope someone reads this lol

And by the way, the title is from Mili's song of the same title. I incorporated some of the song's lyrics into the fanfic, and seeing that Mili has deep and mushy lyrics, the fanfic is _really _going to be mushy lol

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How_ did this happen?_ Touka thought to herself.

She was just out to buy some coffee beans, but here she is, sitting down, sipping some coffee somewhere in a café with a CCG investigator as her company.

_Ah… I need to go now. But…_

She lifted her cup to her mouth, setting her gaze to the side of the man in front of her.

_This damn Sasaki has my stuff._

Beside Haise are two paper bags of coffee beans of great quality, with some of the lids peeking out the opening of the paper bags. There was another bag of coffee beans beside it, but it was much smaller. It was his.

"So, Kirishima-san," his mention of her name snapped her out of her thoughts, making her gaze drift towards his bright but seemingly nervous expression. "How did you learn to make such good coffee?"

Touka placed her cup back on the table, lacing her fingers together. She made great effort to look at him in the eyes without uneasiness, considering that he looks like someone she cared for very much. Clearing her throat, she started to speak.

"Uhm… well… you see, when I was in high school, I worked at a certain… coffee shop. The manager we had is great at making coffee, so I guess I learned a lot from him," she replied. "I worked there for many years."

"Oh," Haise said, drinking his own cup of coffee. They haven't ordered anything else besides coffee, which sends uncomfortable twists in her heart. She wished for him to order _any _food to lessen the possibility that he is _him_.

_Or probably he just isn't hungry_, she thought. _But it's good that we just ordered coffee. I don't want to get stuck with him any longer. I'll probably just finish mine in a jiffy so I can leave._

"Well, is it that same coffee shop? :re?" he continued asking questions.

Touka sighed. "No, it isn't," she answered.

"Oh, then, is there a reason why you switched coffee shops? Where is that coffee shop now?"

She stared at him. "It's…"

Touka looked at him intently. He's gradually becoming a regular at their shop, but it's the first time she's seen him up close, making her body shiver in a terrifying thought that his similarities with him are so… similar. She doesn't know what word to use, but seeing him up close makes it seem like he's really _him_.

"It's…" her voice faltered. She doesn't know him that well to tell something very personal to him. She shook her head. "It's kind of… personal. I'm sorry."

"Oh, okay," Haise grimaced, but kept his bright expression intact. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's fine," she assured him. She drank again, but this time, she swallowed the contents whole, leaving no trace of the aromatic liquid inside the cup.

Haise drank the rest of his coffee as well. He set it down in front of them, letting out a satisfied sigh.

"That's good," he commented, looking at the coffee cup. He set his gaze back on her. "But not as good as yours."

Touka felt her cheeks burn. She looked down, developing a sudden interest at her shoes. She clutched at her clothes, feeling embarrassed.

"T-Thanks," she replied despite her embarrassment, looking at him again.

Haise just nodded. He looked out, staring at the night sky filled with shimmering stars. She imitated him. She never looked out into the night sky before, but she thought that the sky is beautiful.

"Oh, it's getting late," Haise said, looking into his watch. "I'm sorry for taking up too much of your time."

"It's fine, really," Touka said with a smile. "I'm sorry for letting you carry my stuff when we came here, but thanks for it. I'll get it now."

Haise let out a chuckle. "Don't thank me yet. I'll still carry your stuff."

Her eyes widened. "What… are you talking about?"

"It's dangerous for a woman to walk home alone at night, especially when there are ghouls wandering about. I'll walk you home, and while I'm at it, I'll help you with your stuff," he said, picking up the bags.

"W-Wait, I can walk by m-myself," Touka approached him, her hand gripping the side of one of the paper bags. "It's fine, okay?"

Haise grinned. "No, it isn't," he said. "I insist."

Touka let out a deep sigh. She knew she couldn't refuse.

...

...

Walking beside her made him feel nervous.

Haise wanted to try whipping up his own coffee, even buying his own coffee maker for the activity. His subordinates were in awe upon seeing him unpacking the said appliance.

"What is that for, Maman?" Saiko asked him, peeking from the edge of the door.

"It's for making coffee," he replied, setting aside the plastic wrap that surrounded the appliance. "You put the coffee beans in here."

"Ehh, couldn't you just buy instant coffee?" Saiko said, pouting her lips. "It's less work that way."

"Making your own coffee is a bit exciting, don't you think? Besides, I guess coffee directly made from coffee beans tastes greater than instant coffee. Maybe it's good to try something new once in a while."

"Er, where are ya gonna get coffee beans, Sassan?" Shirazu questioned him.

"That, uhm… Well,,, I guess I'm going back to that coffee shop, :re," Haise answered, his face blushing. "I'm going to ask them where they buy coffee beans."

Shirazu scratched his head and started walking away. "Just admit it, Sassan, you just want to go back there."

That comment left him blushing.

He did go back to the coffee shop and planned to ask the waitress directly, but unfortunately for him, she wasn't there when he went. But the waitress' brother entertained him during his visit, so he asked him instead. He felt uneasy with the elegant man eyeing him intently, not saying a thing.

The next day, after work, he thought of going to the coffee bean shop despite the evening getting late. The shop smelled amazing as he entered, and walking to the line of coffee beans, he looked at the paper in his hand wherein the waitress' brother included his suggested type of coffee beans. He ran his finger along the coffee bean labels, carefully examining the names. When he found the jar of coffee beans, he went to reach out for it, but instead, his hand collided into someone else's hand.

"Ah, I'm sor—"

He was cut off when he was greeted by a familiar-looking pair of eyes. It was the waitress.

"Kirishima-san? You're here?"

The girl's face flushed. "What are you doing here?"

"Uhm, well, I'm buying coffee beans because I want to try making my own coffee…" he replied, straightening his posture. "I actually want to ask you about it but you're not at the shop yesterday, so I asked your brother instead." Haise held up the piece of paper in his hand. "He gave me this address and even suggested something that I should buy."

She looked surprised. "He… gave you that?"

Haise nodded. "Yes. What about you?"

"Well, I was going to buy some stock for the shop…"

"What a coincidence…" Haise said, smiling. After they both paid for their items, he offered Touka to carry her stuff.

"I'm f-fine," she said. "I can carry them myself."

Haise insisted. Eventually, she let him carry her items.

He didn't know what came into his mind, but he invited her out to some coffee, and here he is, walking her home, carrying her stuff. She let him do it, but she insisted on carrying _his _stuff. She told him to walk her to the shop so she can drop off the stock of coffee beans and insisted on going home by herself. He knew that it would be too much if he insisted more, so he just agreed.

_As much as I wanted to know where she lives, I couldn't insist anymore. Wait, what?_

Haise shook his head. _Am I a stalker or what?_ He laughed at himself.

They walked side by side, their steps almost in sync with each other. Haise looked up and smiled.

"You know…" he started to say, getting Touka's attention and earning a gaze from her. "There are times that I just look up into the night sky and gaze at the stars unknowingly. Usually, it's when I do paperwork at home and when I take a break, I just unconsciously look outside the window and find myself staring at them for minutes."

"Really?" she asked, her eyes curious. Haise thought she looked beautiful.

"Yes," he answers, looking at her. "I feel different when I look at them. It's like… I feel like that something that I lost is… back to me."

"Something that you… lost?" she asked. "What did you lose?"

He looked at her sadly. _I couldn't possibly tell her that I have no idea of 20 years of my life, right? _"Well, it's kind of… personal."

Touka grimaced. "Throwing back my words at me, huh?" she said, forming a light smile on her face. It made his chest lighten up.

"It's not my intention," Haise let out a soft laugh. She laughed softly as well, which was, to Haise, the most uplifting laugh he heard so far.

...

...

They continued walking home.

"Actually, I also lost something before," Touka said as she smiled at him, but looked away after a while. She had put on a sad and seemingly pained expression.

Haise looked at her. They stopped before a crosswalk, waiting for the go signal. "I lost a lot of things before," she said, looking at him sorrowfully. Touka can feel her chest tightening. "When I was young, my… father disappeared. I have a younger… uhm, another brother, and we lost our mother before our father, so... we were left alone. But someone took us in, and I am thankful for that. But…"

She looked at the road, but Haise kept his gaze on her. "I lost my younger brother after a couple of years. We had a… misunderstanding, so he left me… I mean, us," she continued, her eyes getting sadder and sadder. "But I still had the people who accepted us. Then, I met this one guy…"

Her voice faltered. Haise was so interested that he couldn't take his eyes off her. Touka felt his eyes on her, but she continued telling her story.

"He was an idiot," she said, letting out a chuckle. "He was always alone, always weak, always unconfident about himself. But he was my friend. He lost a lot of things too. I think… he had it harder than me. But despite that, he was always concerned about the feelings of others. He always puts others before him, even if that meant his pain. I liked… that aspect of him."

Touka looked down. Her body felt heavier, her chest feeling tighter. She looked at him again despite her uneasiness to meet his eyes. "But then… he changed. He became selfish. He did whatever he wanted to do. He did things that hurt others. That… that hurt me. He only thought of himself…"

Once again, she looked away from him, his face reminding her of _him_. "Or probably it's just me. It was too late when… when I realized that he did those things because he... cared about others. He did those things out of his concern for us. But, by the time I realized that, he was… gone. Just like the others."

Touka felt her eyes sting, but she closed her eyes shut to keep tears from falling.

"Where… where is he now?" he suddenly asked.

"Huh?" Touka muttered, lifting her head and returning to her senses. Her eyes widened at her sudden realization.

_What… Did I just tell him about…_

"Huh? What?" she was confused. "I'm sorry! I got into it too much and—"

"Don't worry," he said in a soft voice, giving her a kind smile. "I won't tell anyone. I won't even ask any more. I'm sorry."

"Uhm, it's fine," she said, shaking her head. "Besides, I started it. I'm sorry for being too mushy."

Haise let out a soft laugh. "It's fine, it's fine," he said to keep her from being embarrassed. "It's about your family and friends, so it's okay to be sentimental."

Touka stared at him, her cheeks burning. She gripped tightly on the small paper bag she's holding.

"But," Haise said, looking at her. "If you ever feel that way, if you ever feel lonely, you should probably try looking up at the night sky and stare at the stars. Maybe you'll feel the same way I do when I look at them—relieved and calm. That even for a moment, you feel like the things you lost are being returned to you. Even though it's for a while," he looked up. "It feels like they're by your side again."

Touka's heart skipped a beat. His eyes were shining, and she felt something unexplainable—something she never felt before. But it was certainly uplifting.

"I go into it too much as well, huh?" Haise looked back at her, laughing. "Anyway, I feel honored hearing your thoughts. And don't forget what I said."

Touka felt her cheeks burn. _It was certainly unintentional—me telling my story to you. But… I kind of feel relieved that I told my story._

But of course she was too shy to tell him that.

"Ah!" Haise gasped. "The light was already green! Kirishima-san, let's go!"

She was too deep into his eyes that she didn't realize it as well. "Y-You're right, let's go!"

They ran across together, with him running faster than her. She looked at his broad back and smiled. _It's like I've seen this back before._ She had the feeling that she wanted him to pull her by her hand, but with their hands full, it isn't possible. She shook her head, her cheeks burning at the thought of it.

They finally reached the other end of the road, right after the lights turned red. They were both breathing heavily, with sweat slipping on their temples. They stared at each other for a while, and then laughed softly.

"Well, that's something," Haise said, straightening his back. "Come on, it's getting late. We're nearly there, we just need to cross this bridge and we'll get there."

They both remained silent as they walked up the steps of the stairs to the bridge. Touka remembered what Haise said, and looked up at the night sky. The stars seemed to shine brighter than what she saw back in the coffee shop a while ago, sparkling like diamonds hanging from an enormous chandelier. She thought that they were beautiful. She certainly felt relieved and calm.

"The night sky looks more beautiful from up here, huh?" Haise spoke up.

She looked at him. Her eyes widened as she remembers something while being on the bridge. She stopped in her tracks, letting Haise walk and not notice her.

_This… seems familiar._

The view of Haise's back reminded her of something that happened years ago. They were on a bridge as well, and she was running to catch _him_. She didn't see _him _for six months that time, and she was in a hurry to catch him—to ask him why he did those things. Why he left Anteiku. Why he left them. Why he left _her._

She wished he allowed her to fight beside him. She wanted him to stay by her side.

She didn't know what to say at that time, but she certainly was angered by what _he _told her. He looks so different at that time. She hated that. She hated him for that—

_Trash like you should stay out of Anteiku!_

—and she hated that it was the last time she had seen of him. Then, never again—or so she thought. The man before her—right here, right now—looks terrifying similar to him. But she knows it wasn't him—or so she thought. Again.

_Tell me… is that you, Kaneki?_

She remained frozen. Haise kept walking, and finally, he noticed her. "Kirishima-san, what are you—"

He stopped walking as well, his eyes widening. "Are you okay, Kirishima-san?"

_He's so close by, yet so far from my life._

"Huh?" Touka came back into her senses, her eyes drifting to him. "Am I oka—"

"You're… you're crying."

"I am… crying?" she suddenly felt warm liquid dripping down her eyes. She looked down and held out one of her palms, catching her tears. "W-When did I—"

She suddenly heard a loud thud—and felt two warm palms pressing against her cheeks. She was surprised to see Haise—whose face was very close to hers—looking at her intently, seriously.

"Sasa… ki?" she croaked. Her voice was broken, and she couldn't say anything properly.

"Kirishima-san," he started to say. "Did you… remember something sad? Is that why you are crying?"

Touka looked at him, this time, without uneasiness. Her tears dripped down her cheeks again, and she just nodded.

Haise sighed. "If you feel sad, then don't hesitate to cry. It's okay to cry. You'll probably feel better. You _will _feel better, I guarantee it," he said, his voice heartwarming. "About your family, don't feel sad about them. Your parents… I'm sure they're in a better place now. You still have your older brother, right? As for your younger brother, he's surely safe, somewhere out there. And as for that guy…" his voice faded.

Touka stared at him more.

"I-I'm sure he'll return. I-I'm sure of i-it. He'll return. He'll return with the others. So, don't be sad. And…" his voice faltered. "And I'm right here. If you ever feel lonely, I'll be right here. If you need someone. So… so don't cry anymore." He moves his thumbs along her cheeks and brushes off the tears on her face.

"Please don't cry anymore. Somehow, it feels… painful to see you like that."

Touka sniffed.

"I'm right here, so don't cry. I'm right here."

Touka cried more, and held his hands as she cried. She gripped them. Hard.

"I-I-I—"

"It's going to be okay."

She felt her head being buried in his chest, his hand resting against the back of her head, the other wrapping around her shoulders. She felt a warm sensation as her body pressed against his. She cried in his arms, feeling sad, feeling lonely.

Somehow, she felt lighthearted, relieved that it was him—someone like him—that heard her story. That comforted her.

They stayed like that for a moment.

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And that's that! I hope you enjoyed that one. I am planning to do a next Touken, so please tell me what are your thoughts about this and I may do consider making a sequel. XD

**EXTRA:**

"You okay now, Kirishima-san?"

Touka sniffed, slowly letting go of him. She felt her cheeks burn, but she was relieved. "Y-Yeah."

"That's good… I guess."

"Thank you…" she wiped her eyes. "Wait… if you were, uhm… hugging me, then… where are the coffee beans?"

Haise froze. Touka tilted her head to look behind him, and her eyes widened.

Eyes still red, she pouted her lips, her cheeks ballooning. Haise let out a soft laugh—she looks adorable and cute—he thought. But she laughed softly with him anyway.

"You idiot."


End file.
